god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
