We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
