i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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