dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
