How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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