I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
