Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
