if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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