You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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