I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
