The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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