Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
