please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
