My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
