Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
