we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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