Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
