Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
