I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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