Umm I'm too high to move.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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