i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i now understand why vodka
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
