i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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