I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize