I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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