i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize