I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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