Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
