so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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