Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
