She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
