with your own penis?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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