bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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