So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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