just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
