I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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