There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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