I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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