Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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