I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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