This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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