Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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