Sry I called you an 8
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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