Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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