Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Randomize
