do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
