I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
