Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
