You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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