Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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