pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
