Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You took a bar mat shot.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
