i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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