I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
