Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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