This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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