Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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