Even the bartender felt bad for me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
