I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
