we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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